In our weekly series, readers can email in with any financial dilemma and enter the Money Moral Maze.
Are your friends racking up big drinks tabs and then trying to split the bill equally, is your partner spending overspending on your joint account? No matter your dilemma, email in anonymously, and i‘s money and business team will do our best to answer.
This week’s dilemma can be found below – email us at money@inews.co.uk with yours.
The dilemma
We have two children – a daughter who is 30 and a son who is 24.
Both have undergraduate degrees and are working in London, but for next year, our son wants to pursue a master’s degree in policy, which he thinks will benefit him in his future career.
We think we have enough money to fund our son’s tuition fees, and this would mean he would not have to take a student loan to cover his study.
We know that the loans have high interest rates and that they basically function as an extra tax, so we’re keen to help him out and make sure he doesn’t have to take one out.
However, we’re wondering if this is unfair on our daughter.
She never did a master’s degree, and though she is doing fairly well in her job without one, and is comfortable financially, we were wondering if we should gift her an equivalent amount of money as well.
We know she won’t moan if we don’t – she and her partner own their flat and are not desperately in need of the cash, but it’s more of an issue of fairness.
Callum Mason, i deputy money editor, responds
This is likely a very common dilemma that parents like yourself feel.
Whether to give exactly the same financial support to each child is a very difficult question, even when your children are not likely to be difficult about it, as you suggest yours are not.
It will be even trickier if you do have children that believe they should get the same amount of help from their parents, no matter what for.
Some would argue it comes down to a debate about equity or equality.
Do you need to provide the same assistance to both children regardless of need? It sounds from your description as if you son needs the support more, and your daughter is comfortable.
If this is the case, perhaps you will feel content with having helped your child who needed it most.
If you personally feel uncomfortable with this however, if you can afford it, you could consider giving your daughter some money too, even if it is not the full £10,000 you offered your son.
Speaking to them honestly and openly will hopefully help clear up any questions you may have. There is always the chance your daughter may suggest that she would like the money in future, perhaps towards a new house deposit or even getting a car.
Whichever choice you make, it sounds like your family will be supportive.