As I rolled over in bed to open the container which houses my mouth guard, which I now have to wear nightly, and having already popped my magnesium pills, which I also now take nightly, it suddenly hit me: my gosh… how and when did I land, crash bang wallop, into middle-aged life? The answer escapes me, and the reality is something I’m still trying to digest.
I’m used to running around like a headless chicken. I’ve only ever worked more than one job, I’ve always volunteered in some capacity, and, obviously, started adding children into the mix seven years ago. Basically, what I’m saying is that I’m used to going a million miles a minute.
I’ve never been one to enjoy “wasted time”; I like being busy and doing something. I guess that’s because that’s what I witnessed with my parents: they did four to five jobs between them during their working years, and my mum also studied to get more qualifications during that time.
But they were always present parents, and I don’t remember a time when they weren’t there when I needed them.
So I guess I’ve just acted accordingly, but as I hit my mid-forties and middle-age-dom, my body is clearly not coping well with the pace and has been telling me. It’s taken me a while to hear it – as I suspect many of those around my age do, if ever.
It started with a reaction around my eyes late last year. I’d assumed it was something make-up related. But after a chat with my friend Emma, and an even longer chat with her friend Sabine, a doctor, it transpired that it was a lack of a load of different things including vitamins, a lack of rest, and proper sleep.
Turns out that all that light-sleeping you do as a parent, and all those nights of disturbed sleep you get with young children, does eventually catch up with you, especially at my age. And guess what turns out to be an unhelpful addition to that routine? Bingeing shows until gone midnight. Oh, don’t go wagging your finger at me smugly, you know you do it too.
And anyway, Dr Sabine already gave me a stern telling off. The routines I used to be able to get away with in my thirties are destroying my body in my forties.
So I’ve made a load of changes in terms of actually listening to doctors when they talk about what impact a lack of vitamins can have on my body. One of those changes is to my nighttime rituals. I still can’t seem to wean myself off watching TV before bed, but, hey, no-one’s perfect.
This is where popping those magnesium pills comes into play though. They’ve definitely helped with the sleep routine, and as a result of other vitamin changes there’s been a massive reduction in the number of times I fall asleep at any moment in the day when I finally sit still.
And thankfully, because of changes to my diet the reaction around my eyes has gone. I’m not totally out of the woods yet with it all, but we’re getting there (if you’re interested or concerned about whether your body could be vitamin deficient, talk to your doctor).
The second middle-aged reaction to my work and parenting routine resulted in the mouth guard. Turns out the body is very good at sending you signs that something’s up. When I finally got round to seeing the dentist about it, it turns out that the crack on my back tooth that I had assumed was caused by me munching on a chicken wing was in fact caused by me grinding my teeth at night – something I never did in my younger years.
And the headache that would hit like clockwork towards the end of the working week wasn’t caused by dehydration (despite drinking at least two litres of water a day), but in fact the aforementioned grinding.
Despite routinely talking about the importance of listening to your body on Loose Women, it turns out I’m pretty rubbish at it. I reckon it took a couple of years to figure it all out. But you’re never too old to learn, eh?
As I write this, I’m pulling an all-nighter on election night at Keir Starmer’s count. It’s 1am and I’ve got another four hours to go. But having had yet another glorious night’s sleep last night, I feel more capable of handling the hours awake than I did a year ago.
Put it this way, I’m not fearful of dozing off sitting upright in the middle of a room full of people, snoring. And if you’ve shared a bus, train or plane with me in the past few years you’ll be familiar with what that sounds like.
You’d think I’d be a bit more emotional about being firmly entrenched in the world of middle age, but do you know what? Weirdly, I don’t care.
I feel so much better in myself since making the changes, and my gosh I can’t tell you how much I enjoy, and look forward to, sleeping. I guess I only realise now how dangerously bad my sleeping was.
Turns out there’s a reason they tell you to listen to your body, because it really can change everything. So stop turning the volume down, and tune in instead.
Charlene White is a presenter for ITV News and Loose Women