I’m not bad with money, but I am terrified of it. As a student, I lived with a boy called Greg, who had a lever arch file in which he diligently stored his bank statements. “Why can’t I be like that?” I thought, enviously, with spare lever arch files littering my room and stacks of unopened bank statements shoved under the bed. What a dumbass.
Because I’m not only scared of money but paperwork too. I’ve got money and paperwork terror. I don’t think this sort of terror is unique. You only have to receive one or two really nasty shocks through the post in order to fear it forever – but mine now extends to any official form.
I have had passport applications returned due to incompetent filling-out and was once fined for filing my tax return late. It’s a hateful and stupid attitude. It is the worst thing about me.
At an early age, my parents (my dad) were obviously very in control of all finances. I had no pocket money as a child and no responsibility and so grew up into an adult similarly without a clue. I then went on to marry a man who is also well across our finances so I left him to it. I’ve just never had to be grown-up about it, so I’m not.
I am trying to make changes. (Although only yesterday an invoice was returned to me because the total was incorrect, I had at least filed my invoice on time. I once didn’t invoice a magazine for a year and wondered why I had no money.)
I’m now realising I cannot curse my children with this same self-sabotaging attitude, it’s so Gen X and cringe. ‘Hopeless’ was hilarious and borderline fashionable in the 90s and 00s when the 2008 crash was yet to happen. But my children, now 10 and 13, are not going to age into a world of such plenty.
Indeed, if they make the same mistake as their parents and work in a creative industry, they will have no money at all. And they will need to be extremely canny with what pennies they do have… although this applies to whatever career they choose, frankly.
The housing market is now completely dysfunctional: if they want to live in a room that has windows, no active mould or a rodent problem, they will need to budget and save. But even that is challenging. Young people don’t just face the practical issues of earning and saving, they face a morale issue, too.
Sandi Royden, who is the head of Youth and Families at NatWest says: “The rising cost of living and Covid have had a big impact on young people’s sense of optimism for the future, as well as their financial confidence.” In other words, young adults have taken the message that the situation is bad so much to heart that they think, “I will fall short no matter how hard I work, so what’s the point in even trying?”
Another problem is the internet. “Through social media, it is hard not to compare your situation with that of your peers or other influencers,” says Sandi. “This can bring an added pressure and anxiety.” The vast number of accounts that show off effortless wealth – massive houses, shiny cars and so on – are not inspirational or helpful; they promote deep despair.
Thankfully, there are also plenty of accounts that specialise in saving and being smart with money too: the influencer Lexi Larson (@itslexilarson) has a ‘Payday Routine’ series in which she talks through what she does with her pay cheque as it comes in: this much goes into a special tax account, that much goes to savings, this much into a current account to pay rent, and so on.
I have made a start at encouraging financial sense in my children. Both mine have a Go Henry card, a contactless, prepaid debit card for children. It’s the app behind it that is so useful: on the dashboard you can see what has been spent where, change the pin, block the card and transfer cash to savings pots or make charity donations. There is even an entire education section, which aims to teach children the basics of banking, saving and investing.
But I am still guilty of trigger-happiness when it comes to buying stuff for them – Pokémon cards, in-app purchases – because I am too lazy to make them do it.
This was exactly how money was handled when I was a child: I didn’t get regular pocket money and I wasn’t expected to save up for anything on my own – there were just arguments in shops over various plastic detritus and, later, my mother doled out occasional tenners for weekend spending (this was loads in 1993, when a Big Mac Meal was £2.70 – it is now £8).
My mother probably thought that establishing financial boundaries was silly and a chore. But I see now that never feeling like I was in control of my spending (or never needing to think about it) may have led to my terror and incompetence.
Louise Hill, co-founder and CEO of Go Henry, agrees that there is so much anxiety around money that you don’t need any added emotional baggage – such as guilt associated with money you have had to charm off your parents.
“Giving your children a fixed sum each week, which they can spend on whatever they choose, is really important,” she says. “It is my top tip for parents. Children need to make multiple small mistakes with their own money, such as blowing it all on sweets or nail varnish, so that they can learn the difference between needs and wants. It is far better to make a series of £20 mistakes aged 17 than a £2,000 mistake aged 23.”
Another really key thing to learn when young, says Louise, is that saving works. Saving a little each week for something big can feel pointless, unless you have frequently experienced success with this as a child.
It is only now – looking at how I really want my children to handle money as adults – that I feel truly chastened by this. But not in a bad way: I think I’ve got time to halt and reverse the rot I have allowed to set in. I might even learn something myself along the way.