When teacher Stefanie Lakin heard one of her pupils say she was going to give the school prom a miss even though all her friends were going, she felt a real sense of sadness as she knew it was because the youngster couldn’t afford a dress.
“I knew it wasn’t simply a case of this girl not wanting to go to the prom and that there was a deeper reason,” said Ms Lakin, a history teacher in Birmingham.
“I was aware of her family situation, and I just knew it was to do with not being able to afford a prom dress.”
On the spur of the moment, Ms Lakin asked the pupil: ‘If I can sort you out with a prom dress, would you want to go?’ “I told her to think about it for a week and come back to me,” she said.
When the girl returned to Ms Lakin and said: ‘Miss, I’ve had a real think and I would love to go to the prom if you are able to sort me out with a dress’, the teacher of 18 years confesses she had made the promise without knowing how she would follow through, but was determined to make it happen.
“I spoke to some head of years and a colleague mentioned she had seen someone on Facebook offering their dress to someone.
“So, I wondered if there were people out there willing to donate their prom dresses and if I could filter their kindness by getting these dresses to girls who needed them.”
What began with trying to help one pupil snowballed with the generosity of people willing to donate dresses and Ms Lakin realised the cost of living crisis hitting many families meant there were lots of children who would be forced to miss out on the end of school celebration.
Her plea on social media was answered with many generous offers from people who had prom dresses – many of which had never been worn or only worn once – hanging in their wardrobes which they were keen to donate to girls in need.
Ms Lakin, has now set up a not for profit organisation called Madrina, which means “godmother” in Italian. She has chosen the name as a nod to her Italian heritage as her mother is Italian – but also because she wanted it to sound like a prom dress boutique rather than a charity.
“I felt Madrina was the right name as it means godmother and it feels very Cinderella that these girls were being restricted from going to the ball because of the cost of living crisis.
“For families to be in that situation where they have to tell their daughter or son that they can’t go to the prom because they can’t afford to pay for a dress or a suit is so heartbreaking.
“The other danger for low-income families is that rather than telling their child they can’t go to prom and disappointing them or making them feel excluded, they might get into further debt by buying a prom dress on a credit card or by taking out a loan.
“I realised this was a fixable problem – especially when there’s so many dresses hanging in wardrobes going unused.
“But I also felt it was important to be discreet as young people have dignity and do not want to be treated as if they are a charity case.”
Ms Lakin says she soon found herself inundated with prom and bridesmaids dress offers from people who had new or almost new ones in their wardrobe that they wanted to go to someone who needed it.
One prom dress shop in Birmingham called Anna Louise Gowns even got in touch and donated 50 brand-new prom dresses to Madrina to distribute to girls.
“The kindness of people has been overwhelming and then people started asking: ‘Do you want suits as well?’ and I said ‘yes’, as suits are not cheap either. So, now I am supporting girls and boys with suits and dresses.”
Ms Lakin ended up with around 200 prom dresses and suits in her front room and storage became an issue. However, once again the kindness of people astounded her when a pub landlady got in touch and said she could store the donated clothes in an unused function room for free.
She is now supporting young people across Birmingham with prom dresses and suits. The scheme works differently depending on each school. For some, Ms Lakin, who works part-time at her school, delivers a selection of outfits in a girl or boy’s size as requested by teachers and then collects the ones which are left after they have made their choice.
At other schools, she sets up a ‘pop up prom shop’ with the outfits on rails for pupils to come and browse through.
All dresses and suits are given to pupils who need them free of charge. There is also a referral form that organisations can fill in if they know of any young people in need for a special outfit.
Ms Lakin, who has two young daughters herself, says she feels strongly that school proms should be accessible and inclusive for all and that it is an opportunity for students to enjoy one last party with the friends they have spent the past five years with, and that they shouldn’t miss out due to financial restrictions of not being able to afford an outfit.
“Proms and celebrations should be accessible and inclusive for all,” she said. “But unfortunately, this isn’t the case and economic inequality means some students don’t attend, even when they really want to.
“Some of the dresses that have been donated still have price tags on them and have never been worn, while others have been worn just once and are hanging in a wardrobe forgotten about.
“The people who have donated them are all pleased to know their dress or suit will be going to someone who will wear it to a prom this year.”
One Year 11 girl from a Birmingham school, who received one of the dresses, said: “I’m so happy that I can now go to my prom.
“I did tell my mum that I didn’t want to go, but it was really because I was worried about the cost of the dress. I know that my mum would not be able to afford it because everything is so expensive now.
“But now I have a dress which I really like and can celebrate the end of exams with my friends”
While Ms Lakin is playing her part in tackling the prom outfit cost of living crisis in Birmingham, she says she is just scratching the surface of what is a national issue as she says young people all over the country will be dreading missing out on prom because they can’t afford a dress or suit.
There have been appeals on social media from people looking for prom outfits and some young girls have even set up fundraisers to allow them to buy a dress.
Ms Lakin, who has set up a fundraiser to pay for the dry cleaning and alteration of dresses and suits, said: “The cost of living crisis has resulted in the prices for everything going up and some families who were already living close to the breadline are really struggling.
“There is more pressure on young people to attend proms this year, particularly as there have not really been proms at many schools for the last couple of years because of Covid.
“It is such a shame that some pupils might be told by their family that they can’t afford for them to go due to the cost of buying an outfit or are too afraid to raise it with their family as they know they are already struggling to make ends meet.
“That is a travesty when there are dresses with £400 price tags hanging in wardrobes just waiting for someone to wear them.”