During our one week of sunshine – in desperation to contemplate anything other than an endless parade of pernicious politicians and failing footballers – thoughts have turned, inevitably, to… socks. And, more specifically, “millennial socks”.
Older readers may know them as ankle socks: the little darlings that either just about hover into view above your trainers, or are actually invisible. They are absolutely not to be confused with crew socks (also known as “zoomer socks”) which float halfway up your calves and are the exclusive preserve of older generations.
Or, at least they were. In summer 2024, sock tribes have reshuffled, and now pesky young Gen Z’ers are eschewing the millennial sock to go long again. This trend takes many forms: from the “worn with sandals” Gucci runway look to the sliders with white crew socks worn by footballers off the pitch. Now, celebrities like Jennifer Lawrence have been described by Vogue as brave for wearing the millennial sock. Of course, Taylor Swift was “going long” 10 years ago, but it was a trend that she soon shook off.
To be honest, I’m just grateful for any sock on male feet, which are so often bare. Last night at an outdoor concert, a decidedly unsheathed foot belonging to the man on the row behind me dangled worryingly near my head.
Having my dress sense prescribed by millennial daughters (quite rightly, too) has meant I’ve weaned myself off crew socks. That is, only when I’m wearing shorts – because let’s be honest, underneath long trousers, who cares? As a man of a certain age – and a teacher, one of the few professions which still involves a suit and tie – suit trousers have to rest on the top of my dress shoes, just as the generations of tailors in my Italian family insist upon.
Women can somehow look good in those ankle skimmers, partly because they nearly always wear white ones. When I lived in New York, I saw many working women wearing tan tights underneath zoomer socks and sneakers on their way to work, only to switch to heels in the office.
But today, we have different questions: when will the male skinny trouser ankle-flapper look be over? It’s not easy when you’re 59. The raciest I will go is wearing what I call my “Happy Socks”: Rolling Stones or David Bowie-themed, and gifted by my daughter. Oh, and there’s that pair of bamboo socks I bought at Glastonbury, because I was foolish enough to wear Converse trainers sockless in the heat.
It’s an entirely un-British notion to wear no socks while in loafers or dress shoes. While my stylish Italian architect friend Maurizio rocks the look with absolute confidence, my British ex couldn’t even cope with my penchant for sockless loafers. Women look great in either millennial socks or open-toe heels: so why isn’t a man allowed to – pardon the pun – knock your socks off by freeing his ankle in a brogue?
The answer perhaps lies in history: The first recorded use of “pull your socks up” was a Victorian-era instruction to soldiers who had to be always ready for battle. Boomers have long issued this same instruction to maligned millennials in the metaphorical sense – now they mean it in the literal sense too.